Being in nature always brings me back. The trees remind me how small I am on this earth and how much room there is for me to grow. Wild flowers bring to my mind the idea that beauty is everywhere and it is simple and delicate. Walking on the trail slows me down, I can think with a more focused and clear mind. The need to control and manifest things eases up and I understand that nature just adapts and chooses to thrive wherever it is planted and so should I.

The Desire to Control

As much as we want to control our destiny (don’t get me wrong we play a very large part in creating our own lives) we don’t control others or the weather. So life is so much of this push and yield. Pushing ourselves out of or our comfort zones and reasons why not to and yielding to forward movement of the universe.

Lack of Patience

Life every other human on this planet, I want what I want and I want it right now. I am patient in the here and now, but having to wait more than a year for me is so very hard. I get discouraged, give up, find something else I can get that immediate gratification with and settle for less. That is where the yielding plays itself out I mentioned above. Yielding to the fact the greatest things we desire in our lives have to come about in the right timing and we need the help of God/Universe to bring these things about. Being patient and open through out that wait is some of the key ingredients I think we are supposed to be learning before it gets here. I hate that.

It is uncomfortable to wait, especially for years. How am I supposed to know if I am on track? Am I making progress? Is this the right route to get me to where I am going? These thoughts keep me self-doubting my choices and creates feelings of anxiety. So of course I try to avoid those feelings and find a short term answer that will distract me and give me that hit of it is all in my control my brain is freaking out for.

Developing the Muscle Needed for a Great Life

These behaviors haven’t really served me well though. I haven’t developed the muscle for stick to it and I avoid commitment as best I can. I have always given myself the excuse, I just don’t know what I want so I need the freedom to explore. You know to try new things, to see what I want. Which really isn’t bad behavior, trying new things, but can become a crutch for someone that doesn’t want to learn how to stick with it through the grind. I am learning if I want to create my dream life I am going to have to stick with this through the grind, you know the hard part where everything is new and you are unsure about everything. The part where results and compensation for effort are delayed because new beginnings have an incubation phase.

This Stuff Isn’t Easy

I am not going to sit here and tell you this is exciting though and that learning new things is all fun. We are grown-ups we know that isn’t true at the moment. When you can look back we cherish these times and what they taught us, but not at the moment. In the moment my brain is filled with self-doubt, fear, uncertainty which just makes me want to quit. I will say, I am learning I am on the right path because I am feeling this way. These feelings tell me I have stepped out of my comfort zone and choose a whole new trail to take. Which for me is a GREAT thing, because the trails I have been journeying on in the past will not lead to the life I want in this new chapter.

Choosing Bravery

So my word for the month is be Brave. Bravery implies I am scared, anxious and doing things I haven’t done before so I have to muster up my bravery and push forward. Take a one step at a time and believe in myself and God/Universe and have faith sticking with the grind this time will pay off.  

How do you know if you are settling for what is, just so you don’t have to be brave? Ask yourself the questions below. Don’t put any judgement around your answer, just observe and be curious about your answers. Allow them to give you a better understanding of your current thought processes. Thought processes are where we change our lives and learning how we currently think is first step to something better.

5 Questions to Ask Yourself

1) You feel discontent a lot and don’t know why?

2) You hear yourself say to yourself and others “This job pays the bills, it is a means to an end, what else is there for me to do?” Don’t get me wrong NO job is absolutely amazing, but maybe it shouldn’t be where you feel your soul dying slowly each day.

3) Do you want more, but you don’t know what that more is?

4) Do you distract yourself constantly with food, alcohol, Facebook/Instagram/Pinterest, TV?

5) If today was your last day on earth and your best friend asked you if you have enjoyed your life and are proud of what you did with it what would you say?